Why I Don't Do Self-Care, and Why You Shouldn't Either.

If you google the term self-care, you'll receive over 4 billion responses. It seems to be viewed as the cure-all for almost every ailment. 

But if you ask anyone who is exhausted, burned out, anxious or depressed if they’ve tried adding more self-care to their life, it might take everything in their power to NOT smack you.

To anyone hurting, self-care can easily become another chore they are failing at. That’s why it’s important to look at the intention behind the term.

To me, the words self-care mean 

I care about myself.

For a moment, think about someone you care for be it a partner, a child, an elderly parent perhaps, or even a pet. How do you care for them? How do you show up for them? How do you love them?

It probably isn’t taking them to the gym at 5am.

Care for others is demonstrated in how you talk to them, prioritize them, how you feed them, bathe them, and cut their nails. It’s doing laundry and cooking for them. It’s listening to them, advocating for them, and honoring their experience. 

One trick I do is I think about my Inner Child as if she were my own daughter.

 I ask myself, how would I care for my daughter?

I'd go to the grocery store, buy quality foods and cook healthy meals. I'd speak kindly to her, take her outside to move her body, and ensure she wears quality clothes, brushes her teeth regularly and even FLOSSES! (yup, that's a new one for me!)

If my daughter were tired I wouldn’t shame her into doing something she didn’t want to do, I'd explore her feelings and encourage rest.

If she's upset, I wouldn’t ignore her emotions, I’d listen and ask what’s wrong. 

BECAUSE I CARE!

Self-care means showing yourself that you’re worth caring for.

When we feel low it’s usually when we’re showing ourselves we don't matter. Our feelings don’t matter, our boundaries don’t matter, our health doesn't matter. But would you tell your child they don't matter?

I didn't think so… 

So, I wonder how would your relationship to yourself shift if you showed yourself you cared, instead of doing self-care?