Let Go of the Stinky Fish!
Last week, I was having a conversation with a client about—wait for it—feelings!
Shocking, right?
But it wasn't just about feelings; it was about the meaning we give them.
Here's some of what we discussed:
If I'm angry, it means I'm being mean.
If I'm sad, it means I did something wrong.
If I'm anxious, it means I shouldn't do it.
If I miss them, it means I made a mistake.
Sound familiar? We all do this.
But let's be clear—our feelings don’t have to mean anything.
Sometimes we over-interpret our emotions and assign meanings that don't actually serve us.
Yes, emotions are important messengers! Acknowledge them, validate them, understand them, and learn from them—but don't give them more credit than they deserve.
Why not?
First, you could be misinterpreting them and telling yourself a false story.
Second, emotions change constantly—they're fluid. And the more you hold on to them, the more they hold on to you.
Think of emotions like catch-and-release fishing: they're not supposed to go home with you. They're supposed to be released back into the waters of life.
If you hold on to them, it can get messy.
Imagine if you went to a catch-and-release pond but decided to take the fish home anyway. You'd end up with a smelly, rotting fish that gets in the way of experiencing new things.
That's what happens when we cling to emotions long after they should've been released.
So here's my advice: release the fish. Let go of the feelings, but especially let go of the meaning you’ve attached to them.
If you're sad, let yourself be sad without it meaning something terrible. If you're angry, let yourself be angry without thinking it defines who you are.
Here are some of my favorite ways to release emotions:
Comforting my inner child
Writing (like no-send letters, lists, feeling proclamations, free-writing)
Letting myself cry without judgment
Singing or yelling in my car
Going for a walk or sitting outside
Talking to the right people
Giving myself whatever it is I need at that moment
Listening to music or working out
Remember, fishing can be fun! Holding on to fish long after their expiration date?
Not so much.
So take a moment to do some internal inventory—are there any fish you're ready to release?
PS: And yes! The picture above is me at 23 years old holding a Piranha on the Amazon River! It wasn't catch and release fishing, but the fish didn't stick around long either! 😂